So many people live with depression
It forces victims into a long term isolation
But what does it mean to live with this condition?
Please, allow me to share my own personal position
Depression, is something that cannot really be seen, most of the time sufferers will put on a happy face and say “I’m fine.” when in actual fact they are far from ‘fine’.
I’ve met a lot of people that say “I’m depressed” when in actual fact, they’re just having a bad day. Depression doesn’t mean “sad”, it’s so much more than that. You feel isolated, you think that no one will understand or listen, the walls begin to close in and the light begins to fade. You’re alone in a dark place, you shout and no one hears a thing. You try to find the door to let some light in, but it’s locked, not by a key but by your own oppression.
I’ve been suffering with depression for six years, possibly longer and I can tell you that there is a light. There is hope. You’re not alone, you are far from it. I’m willing to bet that there is at least one person in your life that will listen and not judge you. I know that we tend to bottle things up and wait until we’re at breaking point. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I have found that talking to somebody, even if it’s your mother, can help you. And if you’re not ready, keep a diary. Releasing all of those bottled up feelings is the first step to recovery.
If you’re taking medication, don’t be ashamed. I’m on antidepressants to help me sleep and to help my back pain. They do help me. I was wary of taking them because I’ve known people to take antidepressants and they’ve made the person worse. But there are more options out there for you.
I put off going to the doctor for years, I thought I could fix it myself, but as the years went on things just got worse until I did have thoughts of ending it all. When I experienced those thoughts, I knew then, that I was in trouble and I needed help to let some light back into my life.
When I had those thoughts, I was in a bad work situation. An immature supervisor who liked to bully those below them, pushed my mind over the edge. A company that didn’t seem to really care that I had to take 3 months off because of what one person had done to me. They did however graciously let me go when I asked them to. Now, I may not have a job anymore, but i’m in a much better place now. My mind is free from the torment and I can finally begin to recover from the damage that person did to me.
I can now leave my house without having anxiety. I can now sleep soundly, knowing that I will not be disturbed in the early hours. I can live my day knowing that I can’t be harmed by that person anymore. And you don’t have to be harmed either. If you’re in a bad situation, you can get help. You are not alone and whatever the problem, there will be someone to answer your plea.
Those people reading this, who do not suffer with depression or know anybody suffering, allow me to clear up a little misunderstanding. Those suffering with depression do not seek sympathy or attention. In actual fact, most of the time they will shy away from it because they are scared. For years I prevented people from knowing how I really was by putting on a mask. That mask was so convincing that people commented on how happy I always was. I always had a smile on my face. Why? Smiling hurts less than admitting the truth to somebody.
I am a sufferer of depression and anxiety. I am on medication and I have opened that door. The road to recovery is long and treacherous but I will do it. It may take a lot of time, but I have help from the people around me. I am not alone. And neither are you.