Are You a Mat Or a Mountain?

On Monday I attended a very difficult and upsetting meeting and I came out of it with a new view of myself. All of my life, I have been walked over like a door mat and I never really knew what to do about it. It doesn’t help that I am a super sensitive and emotional person. I mean…I cry at sad adverts for goodness sake. But I know that doesn’t make me weak and it doesn’t stop me from kicking ass when I need to (metaphorically of course).

So the lesson I learned about myself, was simply that I am a strong person. I did not break down during the meeting, my eyes did let some tears go, from reliving the traumatic experiences I had gone through. But I did not break down. I held my own. I stood up for myself. I was strong.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was winning. I felt like the doormat side of me, had been thrown away. And I realised that that strength was inside of me the entire time, I just didn’t know it was there.

The person that supported me through the meeting continuously told me, “You’re so strong, do you know that?”

My answer? “No…I’m not.”

But when I returned home and calmed down a little, I did begin to feel like I had gained some strength. I wasn’t as upset as I was before, I wasn’t as sensitive to the subject.

Standing up for yourself in difficult situations can be extremely hard and difficult. You have to wait for the opportune moment and judging that can be tricky. But you shouldn’t allow yourself to be a door mat, to anybody. Be a wall, a mountain that cannot move.

I was once a door mat. Now I am a strong, tall, mountain.

My Toothy Ordeal

So back in May I had to get my two bottom wisdom teeth removed. It was the first time I had ever had surgery, or been put under! Needless to say, I was petrified, but everything everyone was telling me was spot on and it wasn’t the surgery I should have been worrying about.

I don’t even remember going to sleep on the bed, I just remember having a mask put over my face, 3-4 people gathered around me, watching me and then…I woke up in a different place, with a different face staring at me! I didn’t hear anything, or feel anything. But when I did wake, I felt panicked as I had a tight mask over my face and I thought I wasn’t breathing.

Fast forward a few hours and I’m home, in bed, not really sure what’s going on. I slept A LOT and ate, very little. I was on a cocktail of Co-codamol and Ibuprofen for about 2 weeks and my diet was limited to runny scrambled eggs, yogurts, mashed potato and soup. I watched the entire first season of Once Upon A Time in 2 days, as well as countless films and quite a few hours playing Euro Truck Simulator (don’t drive while under the influence kids!).

The pain was near unbearable and the frustration that builds with not being able to eat was… frustrating. Never have I wanted a packet of crisps SO MUCH before. It was ridiculous. But I think it was the stitches that annoyed me the most. The pain was handled with the medication, but the stitches…just being able to feel something in your mouth that doesn’t belong, is so uncomfortable, I can’t begin to describe it.

I was beginning to panic after a week as my dissolvable stitches, weren’t…disolving! It was the knots that were taking their time and in the end I noticed that they were no longer attached to anything…but stuck behind my back molars. Enter Mr toothbrush! He saved the day and the stitches and the horrible smell and taste, were gone!

It takes a long time for the gums to heal, it has been nearly 10 weeks since mine were removed and I still have to rinse my mouth from trapped food. Very annoying!

To those who have to have tooth surgery, don’t worry about the actual operation and just concentrate on getting better. It will be frustrating, but when it’s over, you will feel so much better and eating real food will have never been so good! Enjoy the tonnes of sleep you’ll get and the unlimited Netflix (if you don’t have it, get it, it’s a real boredom breaker!).

The Gauna Have Returned!

Recently we welcomed the wonderful Knights of Sidonia back onto Netflix. If you’re not familiar this fantastic show is an anime, based in space…with robots. Need I say more? No, but I will…

The residents of Sidonia may be the last human colony in the universe and their survival is constantly challenged by the ruthless Gauna. The humans were nearly wiped out by the ugly pink alien life form and now in Season 2 they seem to be bigger and more ruthless than ever.

I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that we are thrown into the action from the word Go! Some interesting twists are…twisted, in the first episode and you will find yourself immediately saying “What the heck?” when the credits roll for the first time. I find myself asking that question when the credits roll after every episodes, there’s just so much going on!

Relationships continue to blossom and some characters take turns we don’t quite expect. I’ll admit, that I’ve been scratching my head asking “Is she or isn’t she?” because the character development just catches you completely off guard…and I like that, it makes a nice change, it keeps you interested and very confused.

The animation style does take some time getting used to as it isn’t like the usual anime styles, but it is stunning and I love it. Obviously it is best to watch the anime in Japanese, but it is available in an English dub if you’d rather not do any multi-tasking (it’s hard work, I understand).

All in all this is a fantastic, entertaining anime that everyone can enjoy, even if you’ve never watched an anime before. This (in my opinion) is a great introductory show to the weird and wonderful world of anime and I have no doubt that after you’ve watched these 2 seasons, you’ll be asking me what anime to watch next.

There’s aliens, talking bears, robots, space…what more could you want?! Go watch it!

(P.S. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while, I shall enlighten you all when I have more time and freedom to.)