On Monday I attended a very difficult and upsetting meeting and I came out of it with a new view of myself. All of my life, I have been walked over like a door mat and I never really knew what to do about it. It doesn’t help that I am a super sensitive and emotional person. I mean…I cry at sad adverts for goodness sake. But I know that doesn’t make me weak and it doesn’t stop me from kicking ass when I need to (metaphorically of course).
So the lesson I learned about myself, was simply that I am a strong person. I did not break down during the meeting, my eyes did let some tears go, from reliving the traumatic experiences I had gone through. But I did not break down. I held my own. I stood up for myself. I was strong.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was winning. I felt like the doormat side of me, had been thrown away. And I realised that that strength was inside of me the entire time, I just didn’t know it was there.
The person that supported me through the meeting continuously told me, “You’re so strong, do you know that?”
My answer? “No…I’m not.”
But when I returned home and calmed down a little, I did begin to feel like I had gained some strength. I wasn’t as upset as I was before, I wasn’t as sensitive to the subject.
Standing up for yourself in difficult situations can be extremely hard and difficult. You have to wait for the opportune moment and judging that can be tricky. But you shouldn’t allow yourself to be a door mat, to anybody. Be a wall, a mountain that cannot move.
I was once a door mat. Now I am a strong, tall, mountain.